wow i had this odd dream last night
i was giving alan bennet a blow job
just as he was about to come he said
in his funny little way
i looked up startled
he shot me in the eye

i was then on a cliff top with the duke of gloucester
you know the way dreams have a strange tendency
to cut out the boring bits
of how I got there
without a blind dog or white stick and
why i should be with a character from king lear
(please let me be cordelia please let me be cordelia)

we was both stumbling around
crashing into each other like bumper cars
but there was a gang of lemmings
just hanging out
chewing gum
acting all tuff
one of them says
why don’t you two piss off and find yer own cliff top

the lemmings then unexpectantly jumped
(no strings attached)
into a red arrows style formation
only to re-emerge as alan bennet again
which made me shiver
would you like a cup of tea
i’ve some home made scones that mother baked
fresh this morning with lashings of cream

oh my days
i pray
i’m never so drunk as to dream of
giving alan bennet a blow job



©2010 iDrew
First published by Fry Your Friends 2012 (magazine closed)