Mother’s sisters, the dreaded twins of misfortune, Beryl and Meryl, came for tea the other day. We had had bright sunny weather all week but as soon as the twins knocked on our front door it started to rain. Then it rained and rained all the time they were in our company until the floods came. Mr. Porter from two doors down, fittingly attired with flippers and a mask and snorkel ensemble, had to be rescued by the fire brigade and rowed to the relative safety of the town council offices where they were handing out fish suppers. Mother always complains that Beryl smells of biscuit where as Meryl smells, more than a bit of wee, which I find a little unsettling as together they smell a bit like Mother: D.N.A. eh! Mother did us proud again by laying on a bit of a spread. Laid out the Egyptian cotton tablecloth she had, as a free-spirited pre-teen liberated from a Lyons teashop on Coronation Day 1952 and that she kept stashed amongst the bed linen in case there was still to be an investigation. There was cheese sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches, and cheese and cucumber sandwiches, fresh scones and a Victoria sponge. Auntie Beryl enquired as to what I was doing these days and as quick as a flash, before I could even open my mouth, Mother said I was messing about with poets. You don’t want to be doing that Auntie Beryl and Auntie Meryl said in unison like a chorus. To be honest, I think they have a point.

Ben Nitt



<error=terminal> -1- P.A.Levy
iE-less -2- iDrew
The Ophelia Syndrome -3- Charlotte De’Ath
An Answer Message
On Sick Leave
-4- P.A.Levy
Dick and Tom investigate: Boredom -5- Dick and Tom
Castle Rave -6- P.A.Levy
iCharity -7- iDrew
Regrets In The Total Column -8- Charlotte De’Ath
Canal Country -9- P.A.Levy
iDiet -10- iDrew